Not a luxury

Feeling pretty much human again. Don't get norovirus, people.

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Time to get the book manuscript back out and start again from the inside out, I think. I still believe in it, but I'm not sure it is wearing its best suit of clothes just yet.

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Read these poems. I'm not kidding, really. Go do it now. I'll be right here waiting.

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Good news from the Writers' Center up in Indianapolis -- they have found ways to continue on with some of their programming despite serious budget setbacks. These are tough times for the arts, but I think there are enough of us out here who understand that the arts are essential, and I think we'll get through these next few years. It'll be tough, but if anyone can make something fabulous out of not very much, it's poets. Right?

* * * * *

Speaking of "not very much," I am so sorry that I watched American Idol this week. That's two hours of my life I will never get back. I blame certain of you bloggers for getting me hooked on this atrocity. Ahem.

* * * * *

There are twenty-seven bones in the human hand. It takes every bone and every muscle in the human body, and every ounce of breath, to make a single moment of music, to bend a slender steel string and hold that note.

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My poem "Relax with Song of the Whales" is now up at Sea Stories! This is a very, very cool online journal which I always enjoy reading. The editors do a great job of creating something that explores a particular theme while consistently selecting interesting work. I haven't yet had a chance to explore this particular issue, but I'm looking forward to it.

Sidelined...

... by an unpleasant bit of stomach flu. The norovirus is going around this area, and I'm pretty sure that's what it is (which is a good thing in a way, as its incubation period is short enough that I can't blame AWP for it!).

Before this thing hit me like a ton of bricks (seriously, it was one of those "one minute you're okay and the next you're definitely NOT" things), I was having a very pleasant Sunday. I went out for brunch at the Runcible Spoon, where I had a lovely omelet and lots of lovely coffee and started reading D.A. Powell's new book, Chronic (about which I may have more to say when I finish it, but it's pretty great). Then I set the book aside and started drafting a something or other. Eventually I got up and left the Spoon and thought I'd drive home, but realized as I was driving that my head was definitely still in the middle of the poem & that in fact there was more. So I bypassed my street & went to Starbucks (because lately I write better when I'm not at home), where I had a skinny vanilla latte and wrote some more. I haven't had a chance to work on it yet (that whole "sick as a dog" thing sort of interferes).

So because I am still ill enough that my judgement is probably impaired, here's the draft. I'll take it down in a day or so, as per usual. I'm actually not sure whether this is my voice, or the protagonist in my current project. I'm okay with that confusion, though. (And actually I think it's more the persona. The snowflakes are all mine, though. And the fox.)


*poof*

Saddle, back in the

Always lovely to come home from AWP and find an acceptance note in ye olde email. Thanks to the kind folks at fiore, a new local journal, who will be publishing "Forte, Fortissimo" and "My Clothes" in their upcoming issue.

Starting to get back on track with the minutiae of po-biz. I've missed a few contest deadlines that I didn't mean to miss, but tonight I'm getting the book manuscript ready to go out one more time. And as I was paging through it I think I caught, out of the corner of my eye, a glimpse of what I can do to make it stronger. So maybe this weekend I'll get out the hard copy and mess with it for a while. But for now, I'm going to go ahead and send out what I've got.

This weekend I'll work on the journal submissions. I hardly sent out anything last year because I was so focused on the book ms., but now that the book-thing seems to be at least somewhat housebroken and capable of visiting others on its own without making an embarrassing mess, I want to turn my attention back to some of the poems.

This poetry stuff, it's hard work.

One last AWP post

3 other things seen during AWP:

* an off-duty Secret Service dude in an elevator at the Hilton, official Secret Service bulletproof vest slung over one shoulder, very adamantly not making eye contact with anyone (I later found out Obama was in town & in fact had dinner not too terribly far from us... sigh!)

* ice sculptures in the park! Very cool, in both senses of the word.

* I already mentioned this, but bloggers, bloggers, bloggers! I think I must have met 30 of y'all, and even then there were several of you I didn't manage to cross paths with. It really was fun, even though I'm basically a shy person and overcompensate by babbling on. ;)

#1 advice I have to pass on to others:

* The coffee in your hotel room is bad. It barely counts as coffee. However: it is coffee. And it is in your hotel room. And if you're too poor for room service, like me, it will get you sufficiently awake to stumble downstairs.

The other #1 advice I have:

* Someone, and I have no recollection who, told me to go get my conference badge as soon as I got checked into the hotel. I did, and it took like thirty seconds once I found the registration counter. This turns out to have been fabulous advice because I hear that people who came in later were standing in line for a really long time, even if they were already pre-registered. If you get in on Wednesday, by all means get your badge and stuff that day. (And actually, getting in on Wednesday & having the evening to relax & acclimate a bit was another really smart thing that I did & will absolutely try to do again next time.)

My 2 resolutions for Denver 2010:

* I really want to read. Editors who've published me, take note! Random poets who can use another random poet in a reading, take note! I know it's egotistical as hell to want to read my stuff, but it is, after all, the Attention Whore Paradise conference (thanks Laine). And I love reading, and I'm really good at sticking to my time limit. ;)

* I really, really want to be there. I have no idea how I'm going to fund it, but I'm going to start working on some ways.

---

Some good news, just in from the Indiana Coalition for the Arts:

Update on Indiana State Arts Budget!
House Ways & Means Committee Releases Budget

Today the House Ways and Means released its budget which includes an 8% reduction for the Indiana Arts Commission, rather than the Governor’s recommended 50% reduction. This would make the proposed appropriation around $3.68 million (the last biennial budget was at $4 million). This is terrific news, as it treats the IAC on par with other state agencies.

AWP index

Number of people whose names I mispronounced upon meeting them: At least 1, possibly as many as 3

Number of official panels attended: 7 plus the keynote address

Number of those panels which were readings: 3

Number of offsite events attended: 3, depending on what you count and depending on what happens tonight

Number of books bought or taken for free at the den of iniquity bookfair: DON'T ASK

Number of my own chapbooks sold, traded, or given: 11 so far

Number of meals eaten in restaurants: 2 so far

Number of bloggers I have gotten to meet in person: I can't count that high!

Number of poets I've hugged: I can't count that high x 2!

Number of free drinks imbibed: [redacted]

Number of people seen Trying Way Too Hard: [redacted]

Number of people seen looking glazed and overwhelmed: all of them, at some point!

Number of hours left before I have to check out of this room at the Hilton with the extremely comfy bed: 17

Number of bizarre dreams dreamed in said aforementioned extremely comfy bed: 0, actually

Number of new poems drafted: 4 (I know, I'm shocked too)

Number of "f-bombs" dropped in one of those poems: 10 (12 if you count the epigraph)



Tonight I'm headed for the Jeffrey McDaniel/ Susan Somers-Willett/ Patricia Smith reading. If you're at AWP and you don't know what to do tonight, this oughta be a good one!

Gratitude...

... to everyone who stopped by my chapbook signing today and made me feel like a rockstar!

... to all the poets who've been so gracious about signing books for me and listening to me gush (I swear, it truly is sincere)

... to all the bloggers, facebookers, etc. who have peered at my nametag and said "Anne!" and greeted me happily and made me feel welcome -- I can't believe how many of you I've been able to meet here! Maybe now I'll start having interesting dreams about bloggers too. ;)

... to all the poets and editors for getting words out there in the world. Never doubt that it matters.

* * * * *

Started off my Friday the 13th with the most incredible French toast at the Eleven City Diner. Made with challah, battered just right, piled with strawberries & bananas & coconut. It was just the comfort food I needed this morning.

Walked around the bookfair until I was overwhelmed again, then spent some time chilling in my room.

Went to the Graywolf reading, which was terrific. Eula Biss and D.A. Powell both sent the room into that absolute still silence that happens once in a rare while at readings.

Then I had my chapbook signing, which was a lot of fun. Sold a few, signed a few more, chatted with a bunch of people.

Then I went to something else, I forget.

Shortly I'll head out to the diode/Anti- offsite reading, which should be a lot of fun.

Yep, definitely loving AWP! :)

Overheard at AWP...

..."A couple of times I thought somebody was somebody, and they were."

Yeah, there are some somebodies here. But also, there are so many people here that if you think you are a special snowflake just because you write or even just because you've had a book published or whatever, you will quickly be disabused of that notion. I think that's probably good for a person now and then. Boy, there are a lot of poets with a lot of books. Also, if you're thinking about starting up a literary journal? Think again. Because we have a crapload of them! There are tables for journals I've never heard of, and I've heard of a heck of a lot of them.

Having a lovely time, though. Every time I turn around I meet another blogger or facebooker or somebody I know from Provincetown or someplace else. I've even run into somebody I know from my undergrad days!

By late afternoon I had a splitting sinus headache, so I retreated to my room and took some Excedrin and closed my eyes for a while -- as a result I missed the 7 pm offsite reading I wanted to go to (Lambda Literary Fellows, which I'm sure was very good) but was feeling better enough an hour later to go to the keynote speech, which was Art Spiegelman. The sinus headache that changed my plans was sort of a blessing in disguise, because Spiegelman's presentation was absolutely terrific, and helped me understand some things about the relationship between structure and time. That's vague, but I know what I mean by it, and it's making me think in new ways about my current project... can't ask for much more than that. Plus he's just a terrific speaker.

A bunch of people have said they are going to stop by my chapbook signing at 3:00 tomorrow, which is really cool! And if 25% of the people who said they're going to stop by actually do stop by, it will feel like a very successful signing. (I know that people often have very good intentions and then don't make it -- goodness knows I've failed to show at several things I meant to be there for, just today! -- I've been saying that I'll be happy if two or three people stop by and say hi during the hour I'm at the FLP table, and that is seriously how I feel about it.)

Other stuff I went to today: the book fair (duh), a panel on narrative distance in fiction (which really did help me understand some stuff for my current project), the NER reading (which was terrific -- 3 fiction writers and 3 fantastic poets [Jennifer Grotz, Carl Phillips, & Natasha Trethewey]), and a panel on online poetry communities. And the book fair again.

And I've heard bloggers describing crazy dreams they've had about other bloggers' hotel rooms, and hugged a whole bunch of people, and gushed to the point of inappropriateness about people's work that I like. (I seriously do mean it when I do that, I just don't know when to shut up sometimes. Better that than not knowing when to shut up when I'm saying things that aren't so nice... right?? *grin*) I still have a few people on my "people I really want to run into here" list, but not many at this point. It has surprised me how easy it is to run into people here.

There are a few things I want to do tomorrow, but mostly the Graywolf reading and the Diode/Anti- reading. And if anybody wants to do lunch or dinner, I really need to have a proper meal at some point; the trail mix & Luna bars in my room have saved me a lot of money yesterday & today, but I'm starting to feel the need for actual food! :)

Chasing angels in Chicago

A sunny day in Chicago, after lots of rain yesterday (I think I managed to catch one of the few brief dry spells for my short hike from the South Shore train station to the Hilton -- pure luck). I'm at AWP -- yes, my first AWP. Last night I already ran into maybe a dozen people I know, some of whom I'd never met in "real life" before -- which eased the "fish out of water" feeling considerably! I do have to say I am not the sort of girl who habitually stays in fancy hotels, so I'm suffering from a bit of sticker shock... I did splurge on 24 hours of internet, but after today I may just purchase an hour a day to stay minimally caught up. If you think you might want to get hold of me, ping me for my cellphone number.

I'm getting a slow start this morning, drinking bad in-room coffee and looking out at the windows of the Essex Hotel next door and the little patch of sky I can see. I'm trying not to be excessively ambitious; there are a bunch of panels and readings I defintely want to get to, but I know that I will miss more than I make. And that's okay. I want to spend some time wandering aimlessly and overstimulated through the bookfair (who started that Facebook group? that cracked me up when I saw it!), and just people-watching in general. I think I'm actually going to go to a fiction panel (I know... I'm just a poetry mutineer) because I found one that covers some ground that will likely be helpful to me in my current series of persona-ish poems.

Today I'm wearing my "tramps like us, baby we were born to run" T-shirt (last night I wore the midlife-crisis motorcycle jacket everywhere, but I think it will be too warm and heavy for all day) and jeans. If you're at AWP and you see me, please say hello, because I'm probably too shy to say hi to you! :) I may be a chatterbox here online, but in real life I am sometimes hesitant -- but harmless, really. *grin*

poems and prizes and piscatorial plans

Looky what I found!

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Did anybody else watch the Grammy Awards last night? I have to say that M.I.A. should get a special award for performing at 9 months pregnant... on her actual due date no less. Maybe we should call it the "ovaries to the wall" award.

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Looks like I'll be getting to the Hilton right around 3 pm on Wednesday. Trying to decide if that gives me enough time to dash over to the Shedd Aquarium before they close at 5. Probably not, depending on how long the check-in process takes me. It's been ages since I've been in Chicago! If anyone wants to get together, I'll be easy to find... I'll be the one wandering around wide-eyed, overwhelmed and overstimulated. Oh wait... that doesn't help at all, does it?

See (some of) you there!

Fun and games, the AWP edition

Reminder: I'll be signing chapbooks at AWP at the Finishing Line Press table, 3:00-4:00 pm on Friday the 13th. (it's your lucky day! *hee*) And unless I get desperate and eat it all myself between now and then, I will have milk chocolate hearts and dark chocolate kisses for the taking. So stop by and say hello!

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Of course, scant days before checking into the most expensive hotel I've ever visited in my life, my trusty '91 Corolla decides it needs a huge amount of money put into fixing it. Doesn't that just figure? Thank goodness my mechanic came up with a "twelve months same as cash" offer for me. Still... I'll be the one subsisting on Luna bars and peanut butter (the non-salmonella variety) in her hotel room next week. I'll probably go out for dinner once or so, but let's just say that "free appetizers" will be the magic words when trying to decide which offsite events to go to. Sigh! I'll still be buying a few books, though. Because I'd rather read than eat.

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I do plan on blogging from AWP, although if I get busy and overwhelmed I reserve the right to take a nap instead. Rest assured I'll refrain from posting incriminating photos though. For a small fee. Muahahahahahahaha!

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I managed to land tickets for the upcoming Springsteen shows in Denver and Chicago. After the Super Bowl halftime performance, demand for these shows was ridiculous, so I'm pretty relieved to have gotten these. I actually thought about trying to hit the tour opener in San Jose on April Fool's Day as well, but rationality and good sense won out.

This means I have three trips to Chicago in my future: next week for AWP, mid-May for Bruce, and July for the American Library Association conference. Even though it's only a couple hundred miles away, I just don't get to Chicago that often, so it's funny to be going there three times this year.

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In all seriousness, I'm looking forward to meeting some of my fellow poet-bloggers in Chicago. Please do say hi if you see me!

AWP scheduling and a non-football draft

For those who are going to AWP: I will be at the Finishing Line Press table from 3:00-4:00 on Friday the 13th. I'll be happy to sell you a chapbook or sign one you already have -- or just stop by and say hi! I'd love to meet a bunch of folks.

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Yesterday morning it was 5 below zero. Today it is 45 above, with brilliant sunshine. Everything is melting and the whole outside world sounds like a waterfall. We Midwesterners complain about the weather, but it's the fond complaint one makes about someone you've lived with forever and can't imagine leaving. Snow and ice, summer humidity -- it's the socks left on the floor that you know you'll be picking up every week for the rest of your life.

Granted, some socks are stankier than others. And we've had some pretty rancid snow & ice this winter.

* * * * *

Here's a drafty draft for everyone who's not preoccupied with that football game today. (Me, I'm just counting down till the big halftime show! Awwwwyeah.) This draft will go *poof* in a day or so.


*poof!*

Snow day!

Monday night I worked the late shift on the reference desk; when I left at 9 pm it was snowing and apparently my town had misplaced all its salt trucks, so the drive home was slow and uneasy. Tuesday we'd had about four inches of snow, and when I left work at 6 pm the freezing rain had begun, so it was another uncomfortable drive home. The freezing rain continued until after I'd gone to bed last night. When I woke, we had a good 9 inches of snow on the ground; I lay there in bed listening to the school closings and dreading how difficult it was going to be to get to work.

Then the miracle happened -- my university was declared CLOSED until at least noon! Understand, it's a residential campus and they very, very, very rarely shut down -- maybe twice in the last 15 years or so. By 10:30 in the morning it had stopped snowing (leaving a little more than a foot of the stuff on the ground -- according to the evening news, this is our biggest snowstorm since 1996) and they'd updated the closing to an all-day thing. Whoooo!

I finally gritted my teeth and put on my boots and headed out to shovel the driveway in the early afternoon. The sun had come out, and although the temperature was only in the mid-twenties it was actually kind of pleasant out. And I wasn't out there five minutes before a neighbor I'd never met materialized in my driveway with a shovel in her hand and a smile on her face, asking if she could help. Considering that yesterday morning a good friend of mine showed up to dig me out after that first wave of snow, I think I've had some ridiculous shoveling-assistance luck this week.

After shoveling I came in and had a lovely, lazy afternoon of listening to music, watching a bit of tennis on TV, and listening to my cats purr in the sunshine. You really can't ask for a nicer snow day.

* * * * *

The reason humans make music is that we are in love with time.

* * * * *

Yes, it's true that my favorite rockstar is the halftime entertainment at this year's Super Bowl. He's also going out on tour in a couple of months. Tickets for the US dates go on sale Monday. I'm planning on chasing him to Denver and Chicago; unfortunately, there are no other dates within anything like plausible driving distance for me, and I can't really swing more than one fly-in show this tour. But at least I get to see the E Street Band at least a couple more times in my life, which I wasn't sure would happen after the last tour. My little three-city road trip (aka the "summer vacation in the E Street Nation") this past August was so energizing and inspiring; I'm tremendously glad to be looking forward to a couple more evenings spent in the company of the greatest rock & roll band ever.

* * * * *

So I have all these poems in this series, and some of them really need the context of the series in order to work, I think -- or at least they need to be read alongside a couple of the other poems. Can anybody think of journals that especially like to get clumps of related poems, and might like to publish at least a couple or three of them? I don't think I want to try to pull together a chapbook -- the poems are coming along quickly enough that there will be a full-length ms. ready to send out within a year or so, I think -- but I'd love to get a few of them out there. Recommendations, anyone?

Dancing into history

Like pretty much everyone else, I watched the Inauguration on Tuesday and was tremendously moved by the power of the occasion. (I credit Itzhak Perlman and Yo-Yo Ma for reducing me to a blubbering mess, though I wasn't far from there to start with.)

Later in the evening, I did something I have never done before on an Inauguration Day: I watched a couple hours of the coverage of the inaugural balls. The Obamas looked, dare I say it, completely adorable as they danced together. Like many people in this country right now, I'm a little bit in love with them, with the whole family (Sasha and Malia are just so completely beautiful!). And I recognize that part of what I'm in love with is the illusion of them, not the reality of the fallible, imperfect human beings who will inevitably screw up at some point (being President, and even being First Lady, is like being a parent; it's just such a huge job that it's not possible to do it without screwing up somewhere along the way). But I think I, and maybe we, need that illusion right now, the illusion of the shiny happy perfect family and the visionary leader who will haul us up from the crappy place we've fallen into. It's been so long since I felt any kind of real affection for the occupants of the White House, and I need to feel this for a little while, just as an antidote to these last few poisoned years.

I never really understood how people just a couple of decades older than me felt about the Kennedys, back in the "Camelot" days -- until now. I think how I feel about the Obama family is probably a lot like what folks my parents' age (I was born in 1961, same as President Obama) felt about the Kennedy family. Except, of course, that when JFK took office, you couldn't sit there and watch the inaugural balls live on your TV until the wee hours. (And everyone criticizing Michelle's dress can just hush. She would look graceful and elegant in a paper bag, and she looked absolutely fine in that dress.)

Later on, I watched an online video of the Obamas dancing at one of the balls -- not the ballroom dancing with each other, but cutting loose a bit and dancing with the crowd. And there was Barack, big as life, DOING THE BUMP. If ever there was a moment that really drove home for me the fact that he and I are exactly the same age, it was that. Barack, Barack, Barack. You and I both know that we danced that way in the Seventies, and I love you to death, Mr. President, but could we possibly just consider LEAVING that stuff back in the Seventies?

DOING THE BUMP. Lordy.

Yes, it's blowing my mind a little bit that the President is exactly my age -- about two months younger, to be precise. He and I have had very very different lives, of course, but just by virtue of sharing some of the same cultural milestones -- the assassinations of MLK and JFK are some of my earlier vivid memories, for example, and my childhood was punctuated by Walter Cronkite on the evening news announcing how many American casualties there'd been that day in Vietnam; I vividly remember the day I learned what the word "casualty" meant -- it makes him seem more human to me than previous Presidents somehow. The night before the inauguration, I had a little trouble falling asleep (experiencing a bit of that "Christmas eve too excited to sleep" sensation) and it occurred to me that he was probably lying in bed wide awake, wide-eyed in the dark, silently imagining what the next day -- and the next four or hopefully eight years -- might be like. I've never really thought about a President in those little moments of humanity, before.

Nah, from what I've seen of him, he's the epitome of calmness and control. He was probably sleeping like a baby. :)

Anyway. This isn't a blog about politics, or rockstar celebrity Presidents. It's supposed to be a blog about poetry, and writing. So to that end, I will say that the other evening I finally got some poems sent out to a couple of places, for the first time in quite a few months. (I've been sending out the book manuscript, but not individual poems lately.) It felt pretty good. And I'm mulling over a possible grant application, as well -- which will have to be done this weekend if I'm going to do it (eek). Maybe I'm just a little bit inspired, seeing what somebody my age can achieve with a lot of really hard work (okay, in his case it's also involved just a wee bit of brilliance, talent, timing, and luck). Maybe I'm feeling like it's a little bit okay to believe right now.

And so it is.

Come on up for the rising

The "We Are One" concert on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, televised on HBO this afternoon (on an open signal so that even we non-subscribers could view it), was just remarkable. Bruce Springsteen! Queen Latifah! U2! Pete Seeger! My neighbor (okay, he lives a few miles away) John Mellencamp! So many nice moments, and watching the Obama family dancing happily to Stevie Wonder made me absurdly happy. I think it's going to take a long time for Springsteen and Seeger to stop grinning. Who would have ever thought I'd see those two performing for the President-elect with Lincoln's visage looming in the background. Very, very, very cool.

* * * * *

Speaking of rising, the temperature finally rose above freezing for a few hours yesterday. It sank down again today, but stayed in the twenties, which is still considerably warmer than it was late last week. And I'm trying to break out of my own frozen stasis & get my act together about sending out some poems. That's tomorrow's task. Although I may work on a grant application instead. In any case, the plan is to work on getting stuff out there. Because it's not like anybody's going to do it for me.

* * * * *

Here's a brand-new draft, which I'll leave up for a day or so.
[snip!]

I wanna be where the bands are

The nice man on TV just informed me that tomorrow morning will be the coldest morning in five years. Should be around twelve below. I know that's nothing to you folks in Minnesnowta and so forth, but around here, we think this is pretty freaking cold. Especially those of us with drafty old houses. I have a new favorite thing: a bright red, super soft, fleecy hat that is soft and cozy enough to wear to bed.

At least it isn't icy, or even snowy. That helps.

* * * * *

Along with the depressing news about the Dodge Festival, I've also learned that the Writers' Center of Indiana has laid off its staff, given up its rented space, and cancelled its spring classes due to lack of funding. And there will be more such news to come, I'm sure. Sigh.

* * * * *

On a happier note, check out -- and submit to! -- the Found Poetry Project. Be sure to read the "about" section, which explains what sort of found poetry they're looking for.

Other things that are pleasant to contemplate (especially when it's this cold out): the Fine Arts Work Center has published its schedule of summer workshops, and the Indiana University Writers' Conference has announced its 2009 faculty. These are both very good programs, though very different from one another. If I had the money, I'd go to FAWC again this summer. But at least I can look forward to attending the IUWC readings in June, which are free whether you're attending the conference itself or not.

* * * * *

Also looking forward to Sunday's celebratory inaugural kickoff, featuring Bruce Springsteen (who'll be singing "This Land Is Your Land") and a ton of other fabulous performers. HBO will be televising a couple hours of it later in the evening, and will be opening up their signal so that anyone with satellite or cable can tune in, even if (like me) they don't get HBO. Very cool.

And despite the Rick Warren thing (I'm still peeved about that), I am looking forward to the Inauguration itself on Tuesday. I plan to take a couple hours off work midday so I can go watch the festivities.

* * * * *

I'm making an iTunes playlist of songs that seem to go along with my current writing project. I'm really starting to think about the whole of it more than about the individual poems, which is something I've never done before. The playlist has lots of Springsteen and Indigo Girls (pretty predictable if you know me), as well as some Joni Mitchell, Nils Lofgren, Ani DiFranco, Catie Curtis, and some other folks. Like the poetry project, it's a work in progress. It's mostly songs about what it's like to be a musician, be on the road, etc. and a few songs about being a music fan: "Where the Bands Are," "Language or the Kiss," "Keith Don't Go," "Refuge of the Roads," and so on. Fun stuff.

I've also been listening quite a bit to the new Springsteen album (yes, I know it doesn't come out for another couple of weeks... sshhhhh... don't ask so many questions). I'm really loving it, though in some ways it's different from any of his previous work. It's very textural, and very ... mature, I guess you'd say. He's working with themes of mortality, and of appreciating what you've got while you can because life is short. It's an album he couldn't have made thirty years ago, or even five years ago, I suspect. I look forward to buying it on January 27 when it officially drops & will probably stop on my way home from work to pick it up rather than trusting an online pre-order to get it to me on time. Yes, I am such a fangirl.

terminal time-deficit disorder

Many, many thanks to everyone who posted recommendations on my previous post! It also occurs to me that Charlie Jensen's chapbook The Strange Case of Maribel Dixon is another great example of the kind of thing I'm thinking of -- also Carol Guess' Tinderbox Lawn, which I mentioned a while back. Poem-beads that string together to make a story, though you have to guess at much of the narrative. Maybe I should go to some fiction panels at AWP.... Anyway, I'm keeping track of the recommendations, so keep 'em coming!

* * * * *

Speaking of AWP, it's coming up in a month! If anyone wants to make a point of getting together, drop me an email and I can give you my cell phone number. I'll also be shelling out the extra $ for wi-fi in my room at the Hilton (you know, one of those amenities you get for free at every cheap Best Western in the world, that the fancy-schmancy Hilton charges extra for...) so I'll be checking email every so often while I'm there, as well. I'll be there by Wednesday evening, and company for dinner might be welcome! I'm not averse to just putting on my bunny slippers (er, metaphorically speaking, that is... I don't own any actual bunny slippers) and chilling out in my room with a good book that night, either. So, no pressure.

* * * * *

Thanks to the Arts Council of Indianapolis for this tidbit, which some of you may want to pass along to your students:

Employment Opportunity: Putney School in southeast Vermont seeks writers, visual & performing artists for Summer Programs positions.
The Putney School Summer in southeast Vermont is seeking to hire college students, recent college grads, and young art professionals as apprentice teachers/dormheads with experience in the following areas:
visual arts: drawing, painting, filmmaking, photography, sculpture, ceramics
performing arts: theater, modern dance
creative writing: fiction, poetry, playwriting, multi-genre

Apprentice teachers/dormheads are paid $2,000 plus room and board for 7 weeks in the summer. Duties include supporting the residential life of the high school students – living in the dorms, supervising recreational activities and field trips, serving as assistant teachers in one arts workshop (morning or afternoon) and also designing and leading an evening arts workshop. Candidates must be at least 21 years old.

More Details: www.putneyschoolsummer.org/contact_us/employment.html

* * * * *

And thanks to Esquire Magazine, of all places, for this bit of amusement: Steven Van Zandt: What I've Learned. Little morsels of wit and wisdom (more or less) from Little Steven (Underground Garage, E Street Band, Silvio Dante). The guy is funny as hell. If he ever gets tired of trying to save rock&roll from its untimely demise, he could go be a comic or something. "We are all suffering from a terminal time-deficit disorder. What'd you do today? I don't know, but I had no time for it."

Yeah. Me too, Steve... me too. ;)

* * * * *

Addendum: Condolences to poet laureate Kay Ryan, whose life partner, Carol Adair, recently passed away (here's her obituary). Thanks to Choriamb for this news.

Astonished...

... to find that I have over forty poems written towards the new series or project or whatever it is that I'm working on. Some will end up getting junked, many will end up getting revised -- of course. But I didn't realize how much work I'd done already. Wow.

Along those lines, I'm looking for recommendations. I'm interested in books of "poetry as biography" (whether of historical or fictional personages, I don't care which). I recently finished leadbelly by Tyehimba Jess, which is a good example of the kind of thing I'm looking for -- and is a phenomenal, powerful collection to boot. I'm currently reading Your Own, Sylvia by Stephanie Hemphill, which is another one; I'm not blown away by the individual poems, but I like the concept, the way the poet writes from a bunch of different points of view & includes footnotes to explain some of the biographical details. And while I was in Colorado for Christmas, I spent a few hours at the Tattered Cover Bookstore (aka "heaven") in Denver & picked up It's Hard Being Queen: The Dusty Springfield Poems by Jeanette Lynes. Haven't read that one yet, but it looks most intriguing.

Are there others I should know about? I'm interested in how others have worked with similar material -- chronology, plot, structure. I'm toying with the idea of interspersing bits of ephemera among the poems -- snippets from interviews and articles, that kind of thing -- and am currently debating about how much of the plot (you know, the "facts") I need to lay out & how much I want the reader to have to trust the gaps.

Books that aren't necessarily biographical per se, but which use individual poems to tell a larger story, would be of interest as well. I'm less interested in the "verse novel" sort of thing than in books of individual poems that fall together to tell someone's story. What I'm envisioning has more in common with a series of linked short stories than with a novel, if that makes sense.

I'm also interested in poems that use the imagery of rock & roll. Those are a little easier to find, I think, but I bet there's some I don't know about.

Any & all recommendations are most welcome!

Also: Happy New Year one and all! May 2009 bring us all prosperity, happiness, and the right words at the right time.

Down to the thin end of the year

My holiday travels began in terrifying fashion: as I was driving to Indianapolis, the drizzle began to freeze and within five minutes the roads went from wet to sheer ice. Cars were going every which way; I passed one really bad accident, a few fender-benders (one of which I saw happen), and a bunch of slide-offs. There was quite a bit of traffic on the highway, and for about ten miles -- maybe more -- we were all driving about 5 mph at most, easing over towards the left shoulder where we could get at least a little bit of traction. I was on a stretch of road with a drop-off on either side. It was the most frightened I have ever been in a car. I was this close to just yanking on the wheel (actually it would have taken the merest tap) and sending myself into the guardrail just to get it over with, since crashing seemed inevitable. I made it through without incident, somehow; it took me 2.5 hours to get from the north side of Bloomington to the south side of Martinsville (about 20 miles), and the 50-mile drive to the airport took me four hours.

Fortunately, I'd decided to book a "park'n'fly" deal at the airport Radisson, since I had a 7 am flight & had thought it would be nice to have a relaxing evening in a hotel room rather than leaving my house at butt o'clock in the morning. So at least the ice didn't make me miss my flight.

Family Christmas in Colorado was laid-back; we'd decided to exchange only stocking stuffers & did charitable donations in one another's names instead of presents. My sister & I spent several hours in the Tattered Cover bookstore in Denver, which was wonderful as always -- what a great bookstore! I restrained myself and only bought 3 or 4 books and 1 literary journal, but if I'd had unlimited funds (and luggage space) I could easily have left with a lot more than that. You'd think somebody who works in one of the best academic libraries in the country, & thus has super-convenient access to nearly any book in the world, wouldn't want to buy books all the time... but you'd be very, very wrong. It's an addiction, I'm telling you.

So it's been an interesting year. My first chapbook was published; I put together my first book-length ms. (finishing the first version of it on my first writing retreat) and started sending it around; I wasn't very good at all about sending poems out to journals; I wrote a lot of poems & started on a series altogether unlike anything I'd ever written or attempted before. A job promotion. My first earthquake. I also rediscovered music as a primary source of inspiration & creativity, going to a lot of good concerts including four Bruce Springsteen shows (one of which was pretty much the best concert I have ever seen by anyone ever) and coming back to playing guitar myself a bit, and bought my sweet little blue Stratocaster, becoming an electric guitar owner for the first time since 1979 when I sold my old single-pickup Gibson Melody Maker because I needed the money for college. (Sigh.)

And I continued to overuse parentheticals throughout the year (as you may have noticed already).

What's coming up in 2009? A new President, a new Springsteen album (and presumably a tour; I'm going to do my damnedest to make it to at least 2 or 3 shows), several new books I'm excited about, poems to read, poems to write. My first AWP to attend. Hard work to be done, all around. I hope to challenge myself creatively and push myself beyond my comfort zone, though just how that will happen remains to be seen. I want to waste less of my time; I'll be turning 48 and every year I feel more aware that time just isn't an unlimited thing. Resolutions? I don't know... maybe.

What about you? Are you making resolutions? What does 2009 hold in store for you?

I wish each of you the happiest of New Years. I'm grateful for everyone who humors me by reading this blog, and I look forward to meeting some of you at AWP!

Freeze and stasis

Solstice Blessings to all who celebrate that particular, oldest of holidays.

In my neck of the woods, it is currently 3 degrees, with winds gusting up to 25-30mph creating wind chills well below zero. I am bundled up in my drafty house, wearing a hat, lots of socks, a blanket, the new blue scarf a friend made for me, and all kinds of other interesting items of clothing. I need to get up and clean house in preparation for holiday travels, but it's so much warmer to stay bundled up underneath this blanket on the couch, listening to Little Steven's Underground Garage on the radio (it's the Christmas A-Go-Go edition, and you just gotta love an album with tracks like "Come All Ye Faithful Surfer Girls" and "Back Door Santa"). I'm just glad that I had the foresight to run all the errands I could think of yesterday, plus put gas in the car before it got this cold; the little door over the gas tank is most probably frozen shut now anyway.

But there are blessings to count. It's not as cold here as it is in Minnesnowta, for one thing. And we have only the slightest dusting of snow. And the ice that we had a few nights ago melted before it got cold again, and the bruises that I got from falling on aforementioned ice are beginning to fade. (They were pretty impressive, though. Oof.) My house is drafty but I have power, and running water, and soft fluffy blankets, and cats taking turns on the heated kitty-bed. Things could be a whole lot worse.

I'm already starting to look past the holidays at the year to come. I feel like I need to clear some space, though I'm not yet sure what that is going to entail. But there are things that have been getting crowded out of my life, especially the past couple of months. I've been atrociously atrocious at keeping up with email, and that's got to change. I've been even worse at getting poems sent out there, and if I make one New Year's resolution, getting poems sent out there is going to be it. And I need to be more proactive about promoting the chapbook, trying to get some readings here and there, et cetera. I have at least managed to get the book manuscript out to a bunch of places, and I need to keep that up. I need to spend more time reading, for sure. And working on poems for the new manuscript, though that's probably the one writing-related thing that hasn't been given short shrift lately. (Could stand to put some effort into revising the darn things, though.) And finally it's been a few weeks since I've picked up a guitar, and that has GOT to change: life is so much happier with more music in it.

So, yeah, I've got to clear some space, both physically and mentally. I promise I won't drop off the face of the Internet, but I may need to try to spend less time here. We'll see.

Anyway, in case I don't manage to blog again before my holiday travels, I hope you all have wonderful holidays -- that you are warm, and safe, and loved. And most importantly, I hope you only get caught under the mistletoe by someone you want to get mistletoeded by. :)

'Tis the season

Dear friends,

Ho ho ho! I'm Santa Bear, and I'm today's guest blogger here at Land Mammal HQ. Yes, I am every bit as fluffy and jolly and all-powerful as I appear to be. So tell me what you want for Christmas. Go on, tell me! Even if you don't celebrate the holiday... that doesn't mean I might not be able to work a little seasonal miracle for you.

Disclaimer: I have absolutely no sway over editors and publishers, and no, I can't get everybody's book published in 2009. And if I could, my own human would have dibs on that particular gift. But I might be able to come up with something else you'd like.

I won't ask you to sit on my knees... but tell me what you want and I'll see what I can do.

Ho ho ho!

Love,

Santa Bear

panning for gold

Today's Poetry Daily poem, like much of Goldbarth's work, strikes me as being just a bit overly verbose -- but I'm glad I read it for this one image: "the volts that bump in the heart / like small trapped minnows of longing" -- an image that's saved from being just a bit too much by its placement directly after the utterly mundane "groceries leaking / out of the paper bag."

I'm a sucker for bits of science and medicine in poems, like volts in the heart; that's something Goldbarth seems to like as well. I know I said he's often overly verbose, but I'm often willing to sift through his poems because I find these little gems that thrill me.

Drafty on an icy day

When I got up this morning it was six degrees outside. Six! At least it was above zero. I had to go next door to feed the neighbor's parakeet, and when I stepped outside for just a moment the just-risen sun was brilliant on snowy lawns, rabbit tracks laced the driveway like some kind of manic notation, and starlings were proclaiming whatever it is they proclaim in their arpeggiated chatter. For just a moment the sky opened up to blue, blue, blue. For just a moment I understood how winter can be beautiful. Then I came to my senses and hustled my frozen fingers and toes indoors.

It's up to 22 degrees now. Heat wave!

* * * * *

Finished reading the new book of prose poems by Carol Guess, Tinderbox Lawn. Great, great stuff. So many lines I'd love to quote at all y'all. What I really love about it right now, though, is what she does with narrative. The book definitely has a narrative (I don't want to use that overused word arc), but it's fractured and laced with gaps -- it's like a cracked window, only all we can see is the actual cracks and from that we're left to understand the shape and heft of the window itself. The courage it takes to tell a story but leave so much for the reader to gather -- that's inspiring me to leave a lot more gaps in my own current project, to tell a little less of the story, let it be a little more lyric & a little less narrative. Which is good, I think.

Anyway, it is a terrific book, sexy and wise and unexpected. Highly recommended.

* * * * *

A quick little draft, which will disappear about when the half-inch of snow remaining on my lawn disappears (that would be tomorrow sometime):


[poof!]

How is it December already?

Sorry for the blog-absence. No, I didn't fall and break my neck trying to walk in my new boots. ;)

* * * * *

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving! I celebrated by packing the cats into the car and taking them up to Grandma's... er, my mom's. They were Decidedly Displeased about the 200-mile car ride, but they enjoyed the visit and got along very nicely with Mom's cats. Which is good to know, because the only way I'll ever be able to take on more than about a ten-day retreat or residency would be to "board" them at Mom's, I think... though I'm not sure such a thing is in the cards anytime soon.

* * * * *

Speaking of cards, big congratulations to this year's crop of NEA Fellows in Poetry -- especially fellow bloggers C. Dale and Corn Shake! Three cheers!

* * * * *

I really, really need to get back in the proverbial saddle with the sending-out of poems. It's a funny thing, but if you don't send stuff out, you don't get stuff published... go figure. I've got the book ms. out to a bunch of publishers & contests (and just got a rejection letter today with a very nice note scribbled on it -- just a few words like "sorry, it's a very strong ms." can really make a poet's day, especially in these early stages of sending the thing out!) but I haven't been at all productive about sending out individual poems this year. If I make any New Year's resolutions (oh dear, is it really almost time to think about that?!), that should be number one, I think.

* * * * *

Wishing you all warmth & light in this cold dark month (at least 'round these parts it is cold & dark). And good health. And houses that somehow miraculously clean themselves. Hey, as long as I'm wishing, right?

Kick

I bought boots! I love 'em... these are the boots I've been wanting for years. (A splurge, but I had a gift card left from my birthday months ago that needed to be used, so... )

I did nearly break my neck trying to walk in them at first. I'm just not used to two-inch heels. It's true, I'm not particularly girly. My usual idea of "high heels" would be my Dansko clogs. Yeah.

Perhaps I bought them in an attempt to climb inside the main persona of the series of poems I've been working on.

* * * * *

If you want to buy something too, try one of these:

Karen J. Weyant's chapbook, Stealing Dust, is now available for pre-order at Finishing Line Press. One thing that has surprised me about the blogging world is the fact that when I enjoy someone's blog, 9 times out of 10 I end up enjoying their poetry too. (The reverse is not necessarily always true... some very good poets are just lazy bloggers. Ahem.) I ordered mine tonight.

And Tim Green's full-length collection, American Fractal, is also available for pre-order via Amazon (or directly from Red Hen Press if you were lucky enough to get a flyer in the mail, but it doesn't seem to be up on Red Hen's website yet). This one's on my "buy at AWP" list. I think it will be a good one.

* * * * *

Mary B. posted a pop quiz on her blog so I figured I'd post my answers here, since I can't think of much to post here lately without being prodded.

1. When was the last time you wrote a poem?
Yesterday evening, sitting in my seat at the Buskirk-Chumley Theater (which is an old renovated movie theater and one of my very favorite places to see live music), in between the opening act and Kimya Dawson's concert.

2. What was its title?
Actually I wrote two. The one that has a title is "House Lights Down." The other one has a provisional title that I don't like.

3. What was one image from the poem (if applicable)?
The mingled voices of the audience as net, ready to catch the falling musician/performer (implicit image: musician/performer as trapeze artist).

4. Do you currently have a poem percolating in your brain?
Bunches of them, which is very unusual for me. I've actually started keeping a list of poems I want to write -- jotting down the primary image or plot point (since these are mostly a part of my narrative-ish series) that I want to convey. When I want to write, I can just sit down, get out my list, pick one, and get to work. No, the writing process has never worked like this for me before. It's quite startling.

5. If you answered "yes" to number four, what is one image from that poem?
Musician at soundcheck, singing into the empty, empty, echoing hall, putting everything they have into the vocal even though there ain't nobody paying attention because they're all bustling around getting stuff set up.

Should probably write a poem about cool boots, too. :)

* * * * *

Still taking answers to my "what do you say when someone asks you what kind of poems you write" question from the other day. Surely there are more fabulous answers out there.

I know you've heard this one.

When people ask you "so, what kind of poetry do you write?"

... how do you answer them?

Not other poets, mind. When someone who's a serious poet asks me something like that (though they usually phrase it in a more helpful manner), usually we have enough of a shared vocabulary that I can talk about the central concerns & projects of my work and have a somewhat interesting conversation.

But when someone who's either a casual/occasional writer of poems, or who doesn't write poems at all, asks ... what do you say?

I'm really curious. Thanks!

Bits and linkies

Congratulations to Mark Doty on winning the National Book Award in poetry!

* * * * *

Went to a really terrific concert by John Prine this past weekend. Holy cow, can that guy write a song. Backed by one guitarist and one bassist -- and for the last part of the show, also joined by opening act Pat McLaughlin -- he gave us a solid two-hour set of songs that are timeless classics ("Angel From Montgomery," "Hello In There," and so many more) and other songs that are pretty close to that level. Most of his songs are deceptively simple, and I found myself envious of the palette of tools that songwriters have at their disposal. So many things that words alone just can't do.

* * * * *

"... what always enters the poems, and makes them happen, is the world, and the things in it. And the real, breathing beings in it. " Here's a nice interview with poet Ross Gay, who's been on the MFA faculty at the university here for a year or two.

* * * * *

Speaking of local stuff, WFIU has revamped the website for their poetry show, The Poets Weave. They've made it a lot easier to find the podcasts, and added tags. If you want to find all four of my archived shows, for example, you can just click on my name in their tag cloud. (You can leave comments, too!) Technology is fun, when it isn't driving you up the wall.

Be My Elvis, Baby

There seems to be another character sneaking into the series I'm working on -- someone who's been a fan of the band for ages, and who in later years comes to a new appreciation of, not just the music, but of the musicians as human beings. How she moves, over the couple of decades the series spans, from idolizing the rock gods of her dreams to seeing them as human beings & still loving them, loving what they do. How she listens to songs she first heard when she was fifteen, and how they mean something different and deeper now.

Which, of course, basically gives me a voice in the project. I'm not sure, in the end, if that's a good thing or a bad thing -- but we'll see what happens.

More and more, this is feeling like a book-length project. Scary!

I'm doing some research for it, too. Trying to imagine what it's like to be a struggling (and then not so struggling) rock musician. Trying to imagine what the relationships between band members are like, how the shared experience of playing & performing & traveling together, the success & the failure, changes the interpersonal dynamic. Also just plain trying to stay in touch with what it is I have always loved about rock & roll, because in some ways I see this project as my little love letter to rock & roll itself. So I'm listening to lots of music. Ah, the sacrifices we make for poetry. *grin*

I don't want this project to ignore the crassness & corruption of the music industry, but that's not at all a primary focus; of course the tension between art & commerce is something that inevitably comes into play with popular music maybe more than with any other art, but I'm more interested in the human stories, and in the great thunderous machine that is a rock band in full voice. The grand gesture of the stage, and the little human failings underneath the surface of that performance, and what happens when a huge room full of people comes together singing the same song. How a rock concert with its cheering and its standing and its fist-pumping and its singing along is an audience/performer experience entirely unlike the passive consumption of sitting quietly & applauding politely when the song is over, and what it's like when the song is one you've listened to over & over alone in your room & now you're sharing it with hundreds or even thousands of other people & the privately meaningful suddenly becomes a shared, communal experience.

And yes, the project is also about being such a hopeless romantic that you believe this stuff matters. It's circus and flash and entertainment, smoke & mirrors, but the human heart at the heart of it is something full of truth. And yes, I did indeed flunk PoMo 101.

Anyway.

So here's our longtime fan. This is pretty late in the game, and our protagonist (the rock star) has gone through some difficult stuff in a fairly public way. And what is it about the fan/performer relationship that feels so strangely personal that sometimes you feel like you know them, know something of what they're going through? Because I know your words and your music with every cell in my body, know your song so well that it is my song, do I know you? Well, no, of course not, but... also yes.


[gone]

Catching up a bit

Saturday evening's reading with Dory Lynch & Shana Ritter went really well. We had a great audience, and despite technical issues (we gave up on the PA and just read unamplified -- Poetry Unplugged!) I enjoyed it about as much as I can remember enjoying any reading. I had great fun reading both older, familiar material & the brand-new stuff I'm so excited about right now.

The podcast of my most recent radio reading is now available, here. (I'll make sure the link is over in the right-hand column of my blog, too.) There are two version of it; I haven't listened all the way through, but I'm pretty sure it is just that one has the public-radio pledge-week "please give us money" at the beginning and the other one doesn't.

Breach is now available via amazon.com, here. However, unless you feel an obligation to support amazon.com, or have a gift certificate to burn, you can certainly buy it directly from Finishing Line Press and support small-press publishing. Better still, if you're willing to mail out a check instead of using a credit card online, you can buy it directly from me (and I'll happily sign it if you'd like); I'll sell you one for $12 plus $1.50 postage (& trade/barter is definitely an option, so make me an offer). Email me, ahaines at gmail dot com, if you're interested.

Phew. Shameless self-promotion is kind of uncomfortable.

* * * * *

I get to see John Prine on Saturday night! Should be excellent.

Readings!

Tomorrow (Sunday, 11/9) I am the featured guest on "The Poets Weave" on WFIU, our local NPR station. The five-minute show is scheduled to air at 11:46 AM EST, and you can listen online at wfiu.org. A caveat: it is pledge week, and so a lot of their shows are running a little behind schedule this week. The poetry show should appear sometime between 11:45 and noon though. And if you miss it, never fear -- the podcast will be available within a day or two.

Tonight, I get to read with Dory Lynch and Shana Ritter at Rachael's Cafe. I just finished deciding what I'm going to read. We're each doing two short sets, so that we can have an intermission and people can get food or cappuccino or whatever. My first set will be entirely from Breach, and my second set will be from "Chasing Angels," the new collection I am working on. I'm having a lot of fun with those poems right now. I've never consciously had a "project" in the sense of writing poems specifically towards a series or group, and it's a very different feeling! I'm also finding I need to learn a lot of fiction-y techniques and concepts, like different points of view, narrative strategies, etc. It's interesting work. I'm looking forward to seeing how these poems go over with an audience. And I'm very much looking forward to hearing Dory and Shana read; they're both terrific poets whose work I always enjoy.

And now the real work begins.

I stayed awake last night to hear the victory speech (which was terrific, I thought, and struck just the right note between celebration and the soberness of realizing how much hard work he -- and we -- have yet to do), and long enough to hear one network finally call Indiana for Obama. (He won by about 1% here, or maybe a little less -- which is really quite phenomenal, given how strongly Republican Indiana usually is.)

Fell asleep with the TV on, and when I woke up I held my breath for a moment until I heard someone say "President-Elect Obama." It wasn't a dream. And there were no dirty-trick surprises overnight.

I don't think I can really say anything about this election that hasn't already been said. President-Elect Obama is almost exactly my age -- he's a couple months younger -- and although his life & mine have been very different, we share many of the same cultural referents. We were in kindergarten when Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated. (My parents let me stay home to watch the funeral on TV; I didn't really understand what had happened, but I knew that people were sad and angry and that a great man had died in a bad way.) We were kids and young teenagers during Vietnam and the heyday of the civil rights movement. When we were finally old enough to vote, Ronald Reagan got elected President. (I didn't vote for him, and I'm guessing young Obama didn't either.) And when we were forty-seven years old, we got to elect a visionary, compassionate, intelligent, courageous -- and yes, African-American -- man as our next President.

Did I imagine that this could happen in my lifetime? Yep. And I still believe it is very possible that I will see a woman President elected in my lifetime, too. And did I leap off the couch shrieking and crying hysterical tears of joy last night at 11 pm when the networks declared the Obama victory? Yep. If you'd asked me "can the U.S. get over itself enough to elect a black man as President," I would've said yes. But when it really happened, when that particular dream became reality, the sheer force of my joy and exhilaration took me completely by surprise.

My excitement is tempered somewhat by the passage of Prop 8 in California and several other anti-gay and anti-choice ballot measures in other states. It is ridiculous that we still live in a country where an entire group of people can be refused the same civil rights that other people have, just on the basis of who they happen to be. But I believe -- I truly do believe -- that if we can elect Barack Obama, we can make the world a better place in other ways. We CAN change the world for the better, if we work hard enough and if we believe. If yesterday's victory taught me anything, it is that hope and belief are powerful things. And so, it's time to get to work.

* * * * *

Capping off an unforgettable 24 hours, today I went to a fantastic reading by Billy Collins & Kay Ryan. I'd heard recordings of Collins reading before, but hadn't seen him in person; and I hadn't even heard recordings of Ryan. They were both terrific, and played off one another really well. I don't know if they have read together often, but if you ever get a chance to see them together, you should go. They are both funny, charming, personable readers. I was a little worried for Kay Ryan since she went second, and I was afraid that following someone as hugely popular as Billy Collins would be tough -- but I needn't have been concerned, as she more than held her own and won over the sizable audience. Good stuff.

One last word on this election.

I'll let Mr. Bruce Springsteen have the last word on this blog regarding tomorrow's election. This is Springsteen's speech from yesterday's rally in Cleveland. After this he sang "The Rising" and then introduced the Obama family. Following the text of the speech will be video of the same speech (which unfortunately cuts off before "The Rising" begins).

Please, if you haven't voted, do so tomorrow. Barack Obama is not perfect. He can't single-handedly save the country or anything like that. But putting him in office will go a long way towards making the world a safer, more compassionate, saner place to live.

And now, Bruce Springsteen:

I've spent 35 years writing about America and its people--what does it mean to be an American, what's our duties and our responsibilities, what are our reasonable expectations when we live in a free society. I really never saw myself as partisan but more as an advocate for a set of ideas: economic and social justice, America as a positive influence around the world, truth, transparency, and integrity in government, the right of every American to have a job, a living wage, to be educated in a decent school, and to a life filled with the dignity of work, promise and the sanctity of home. These are the things that make a life. These are the things that build and define a society. I think that these are the things we think of on the deepest level when we think about our freedoms. But today those freedoms have been damaged and curtailed by 8 years of a thoughtless, reckless, and morally adrift administration. But we're at the crossroads today.

I've spent most of my life as a musician measuring the distance in my music between the American Dream and the American reality. I look around today and for many Americans who are losing their jobs or their homes or seeing their retirement funds disappear or their health care, or have been abandoned in their inner cities, the distance between that dream and that reality has grown greater and more painful than ever.

I believe that Senator Obama has taken the measure of that distance in his own life and in his own work. And I believe that he understands in his heart the cost of that distance in blood and in suffering in the lives of everyday Americans. And I believe as President he'll work to bring that promise back to life and into the lives of so many of our fellow Americans who have justifiably lost faith in its meaning.

Now, in my job I travel around the world and I occasionally play to big stadiums or crowds like this, just like Senator Obama does. And I continue to find out that wherever I go, America remains a repository for people's hopes, their desires; it remains a house of dreams. And a thousand George Bushes and a thousand Dick Cheneys will never be able to tear that house down. That's something that only we can do, and we're not going to let that happen.

This administration will be leaving office--that's the good news. The bad news is they're going to be dumping in our laps the national tragedies of Katrina, Iraq, and our financial crisis. Our house of dreams has been abused, it's been looted, and it's been left in a terrible state of disrepair. It needs defending against those who would sell it down the river for power, for influence, or a quick buck. It needs strong arms, strong hearts, strong minds. We need someone with Senator Obama's understanding, his temperateness, his deliberativeness, his maturity, his pragmatism, his toughness, and his faith.

But most of all it needs us. It needs you and it needs me, and he's gonna need us. 'Cause all that a nation has that keeps it from coming apart is the social contract between us, between its citizens. And whatever grace God has decided to impart to us, it resides in us, it resides in our connection with one another. In honoring the life and the hopes and the dreams of the man or the woman up the street or across town--that's where we make our small claim upon heaven.

Now in recent years, that social contract's been shredded. Look around today and you can see it shredding before our eyes. But tonight and today we are at the crossroads. We are at the crossroads, and it's been a long long long time coming.

I'm honored to be here on the same stage as Senator Obama. From the beginning, there's been something in Senator Obama that's called upon our better angels, and I suspect it's because he's had a life where he's had to so often call upon his better angels. And we're going to need all the angels we can get on the hard road ahead. So Senator Obama, help us rebuild our house, big enough for the dreams from all our citizens. 'Cause how well we accomplish this task will tell us just what it does mean to be an American in the new century, what the stakes are, and what it means to live in a free society.

So I don't know about you, but I know I want my country back, I want my dream back, I want my America back. Now is the time to stand with Barack Obama, and Joe Biden, roll up our sleeves, and come on up for the rising.

Come on up for the rising...

Holding my breath...

... till the election on Tuesday. In a strange way I feel like everything is on hold till then. I have a feeling I'm going to be up very late, glued to the returns. I'll be glad to see the end of the political commercials, though. This has been my first experience with living in a swing state, and boy, both parties have certainly spent some serious money on Indiana airtime -- not to mention all the state-level and Indianapolis-area races.

* * * * *

Went to a good reading tonight at Boxcar Books: Eugene Gloria, Ross Gay, and Curtis Crisler. This was the first reading I'd been to in the store's new location (right next door to my favorite brunch place, the Runcible Spoon); they have a smaller space available for readings than they had in the old location, and it was absolutely packed, uncomfortably so. Nice to see that good a turnout for poetry, though! (I think it was mostly MFA-program folks, as I saw very few people I knew and it was a young crowd.) It was a little hard to hear from the other side of the room, but from what I could hear, the three poets complemented one another nicely. Afterwards I ducked out right away (was feeling a wee bit claustrophobic) and went next door to the Spoon, where I ordered a spiced coffee and drafted a new poem. Always a good sign when a reading makes you want to write.

* * * * *

Thinking about what I want to read this coming Saturday when I read with Dory Lynch and Shana Ritter. I'll read a good bunch of poems from Breach, since this is the official chapbook-release reading, but I want to read some new stuff too. I hope we get a decent audience!

Maybe I should wait until after Tuesday night to decide what I'm reading, so I can know how depressed everybody's going to be -- or, hopefully, not.

* * * * *

I'm now officially registered for AWP, so I guess I'm really going. Should be fun, though I'm a bit nervous about it all. I think I'm going to drive to my mom's in northern Indiana and take the train in to Chicago, so I don't have to pay the Hilton's exorbitant parking rates or cope with driving in Chicago. I am so not a city girl.

* * * * *

It's 1:20 AM. An hour from now, it will be 1:20 AM. This daylight saving time stuff is weird. (We're new to this here in Indiana, and we're still a little freaked out about it, to be frank.)

But it will be nice to see some actual daylight before going in to work, at least for the next few weeks. I'm looking forward to that.

Good stuff

Poet (and novelist, and memoirist, and anything-else-she-wants-to-write writer) Carol Guess has a brand-new book of prosepoems out! You can read an excerpt from Tinderbox Lawn, and order your own copy (as I did), at the Rose Metal Press website. And if you haven't read Carol's earlier book of poetry, Femme's Dictionary, I highly recommend that as well.

Locally, we get a pretty cool reading on the day after Election Day -- Billy Collins and Kay Ryan. If you're within driving distance of Bloomington (and remember, that's the one in Indiana), the reading will be at 5:30 pm on Nov. 5 in Rawles Hall 100 on campus.

Don't forget to turn your clocks back on Saturday night/Sunday morning! I am sure looking forward to actually seeing the sun rise before going in to work -- it's been coming up after 8 am for a while now, and it's pretty darn dark in the mornings. What will you do with your extra hour?

* * * * *

Edited to add one more good stuff! Bruce Springsteen has posted a free mp3 download on his official website as a Halloween treat. "A Night with the Jersey Devil" is a kick-ass ghost story blues thang. And the video that goes with it might be the coolest video Bruce has ever done. It's all intense and backwoods-creepy and stuff, and then these little stickman devils with guitars pop in now and then and just make me giggle. He must have had a blast making this thing. Do check it out if you think it sounds intriguing. Happy Halloween!

This broken, beautiful world

Today was one of those days that just breaks your heart with beauty. Blue sky, a distinct chill in the air, brilliant sun punctuated with interesting clouds, and the trees in their full autumnal glory.

This morning I met with poets (and friends) Dory Lynch and Shana Ritter to plan our reading, which takes place two weeks from tonight. (7:00 pm on November 8 at Rachael's Cafe in Bloomington, for anyone close enough to make the trip!) This will be the official release party for Breach, as well as for Dory's chapbook Praising Invisible Birds (out any day now from Finishing Line Press). We are also celebrating Shana's recently-awarded grant from the Indiana Arts Commission. Dory and Shana are both terrific poets and good people, and I am looking forward to what should be a very enjoyable reading.

After our meeting I went over to the Bakehouse, where I chatted with a couple of librarian friends for a little while, then settled in with a breakfast burrito and a cup of coffee (and another cup of coffee, and another...) and some poetry. I ended up drafting two new poems for my "rockstar" series, one of which has our fearless protagonist getting together with a groupie in a hotel room after the show. Yikes! I didn't know I was going to go there. Had to happen, though. *grin*

And after that, I went and voted. Early voting is still relatively new in Indiana, but it's been a very popular option this year. Lucky for me, when I arrived there was absolutely no line, and I was in & out in about fifteen minutes total -- though when I left there was a pretty good line beginning to develop. As I drove home I found myself remembering an evening a little over four years ago, when I made a point of watching the Democratic convention because I'd heard there was some young Senator from Illinois whose keynote speech was expected to be brilliant. It was, of course, and I was tremendously moved by it, and found myself wishing I could vote for him for something someday. And today, I did.

Now, I live in a very blue town nestled in a fairly red state. When I drive to work in the mornings I could almost imagine I've been plunked down in the middle of an Obama yard-sign factory outlet. Most years, Bloomington is very different from the rest of Indiana. But this year, Indiana's acting suspiciously like a swing state. At one point I saw a poll that showed Obama up by ten points here. TEN points! This is a state that normally gets called for the Republicans about five minutes after the polls close. I can't help feeling that if Indiana is even close, Obama has a very good chance of actually winning. I don't want to go farther than that for fear of jinxing it... but I will admit that today I kissed his name on my ballot, for good luck. (Stop laughing. It can't hurt!)

Barack Obama is not perfect. He can't single-handedly save the world. Nobody can. But I think he's the best chance we've had in a long time to elect somebody who will make our country and our world a better place to live. I think he knows how to get ordinary people involved in helping to make things better. I think he is intelligent, articulate, thoughtful, and compassionate. He has a kick-ass wife, a million-watt smile, and terrific taste in music.

If he wins he'll also be the first President to be younger than me. That's a little scary, huh? I can learn to live with it though. You betcha.

* * * * *

Small bit of good poetry news: my humorous poem "Relax with Song of the Whales" has been accepted by the very cool online journal Sea Stories. Don't know when it will be up, but I'll let y'all know.

shamelessly self-promotional

The podcast of my "appearance" (does one actually appear on the radio, I wonder?) on "The Poets Weave" is now up. Download it on the Poets Weave podcast page. It's a five-minute show, and includes 3 poems: two from Breach and one newer poem -- "First Earthquake," my elegy for E Street Band organist/accordionist Danny Federici, who died this past April.

I'll stick a link over in the right-hand side of my blog pretty soon, too.

* * * * *

Speaking of Breach, poet Collin Kelley said some darn nice things about it over on his blog! Seriously, I got all blush-y when I read it, and I wasn't even having a hot flash. :) Also, I totally want to steal his phrase "harbingers and incidents."

I was sort of getting used to the fact that a few people had actually bought my chapbook, but for some reason it still surprises me just a little bit (in a good way!) when I find out somebody actually read the thing, much less that they actually liked it. Hee!

* * * * *

Looking over the AWP schedule... plenty of good stuff, but for the most part it looks like I won't be too overwhelmed in each time slot by fifteen different things I am just dying to attend. I probably overlooked a few, though. I will be there for sure, barring anything unforeseen like ice storms or plague of locusts.

I'm sort of wondering whether any other poet-bloggers want to throw together an informal late-night guerrilla reading? Poet-bloggers and friends? Round-robin format, so if there are a bunch of us you might only get to read a couple of poems but at least everyone will get to read something? Heck, if only a few folks are interested, I'll even host it in my room at the Hilton -- I probably wouldn't feel the need to boot y'all out until 2 a.m. or so. Bring a bottle of wine! :) I'm sure there will be larger and better spaces we could commandeer, as well. I'm sure I will say this again as we get closer to February, but if anyone does want to get together for a guerrilla reading -- or for a cup of coffee or a beer, or what-have-you -- drop me an email and we'll figure out how to coordinate things.

Yes, I am totally paranoid about AWP; I've never been before, and I have this fear that if I don't plan some stuff out ahead of time, I will end up drifting around the place aimlessly and never meeting anybody. Never mind that it's a conference full of poets and so there's no way in heck I will be the only shy, socially-backwards person there! *grin*

Looks like I will be attending the ALA conference for the first time next year as well (that's the American Library Association), which is also in Chicago. 2009: The Year Of Conferences. Hoo boy.

ooh, shiny

The Five Women Poets reading last night went nicely, I think. The place was crowded and everybody seemed to be paying close attention. You can't ask for a whole lot more than that.

Today I found out the best way of curing post-performance letdown: drink a whole lot of coffee and write some new poems. This series I'm working on now really has my attention, though I've realized I need to learn more about sustaining a narrative, as it's starting to feel like a larger project than I'd originally anticipated. Yikes!

I'm going to post one of the new drafts from today, though this one may actually stay up for less than 24 hours. A little background: the main character (the lead singer) and the guitarist (who you've met already, if you've caught the last couple of drafts I've posted) have had a complicated, uneasy, but emotionally intimate relationship for years. The guitarist finally quits the band, which leads to all kinds of hard feelings on both sides and they mostly lose touch with one another. Eventually, the lead singer finds out that the guitarist is terminally ill, but doesn't get in touch or visit until it's almost too late -- which is where we come in. Also: the title refers to the curfew often imposed by a venue, specifying that the band has to finish by a certain time to avoid sending the union guys (stagehands and what-not) into overtime.


[gone]

* * * * *

Looks like pretty much everybody else in the world was one too, but I'm still pleased to note that my manuscript was a semi-finalist in one of the contests I sent it out to. Yeah, there were about a billion semi-finalists in this one, but at least that means it didn't get laughed out of the room, which is always nice.

bonus draft

Here's one of the poems I read at Rachael's Cafe last night. This is from my "rockstar" series; the two characters here are the same as the ones in the draft I posted a few days ago -- the speaker is the rockstar/main character, and the other person is the guitarist. The two of them have this ridiculously hot chemistry onstage but in their offstage life they don't talk about it. This poem finds them in the van, on the road from one gig to the next...

I'll take the draft down in a day or so, as usual.


[gone]

Weekend snippets

Good news on the work front: the radical revision of my job description came through the reclassification process with a higher level. This means that as of 11/1 I get a shiny new title (Libraries Web Site Editor), a professional staff classification rather than support staff, and a small raise. I am lucky to have a job that I mostly like, working with people I like (many of whom I would enjoy spending time with even if I weren't being paid to do so -- don't laugh, it's nothing to take for granted), and also lucky to be able to go home at the end of the day and leave my job behind in order to work on creative pursuits (lately, about equal parts writing-related and music-related).

* * * * *

Still have not figured out what I'm going to read at the Five Women Poets reading tomorrow night -- er, it's after midnight now, so I guess I should say "tonight." A couple of poems from Breach, for sure, but which ones? I'm more interested right now in my new series of poems (one of which was posted here for about a day earlier this week) -- heck, I drafted another one of the things today. I guess that's the problem with publishing chapbooks and books: by the time the thing comes out, your work has moved on, but people want you to read from the "new" collection. Well, I'll read a couple of the new poems anyway, if only to test out how they sound in a room with people listening.

Also, speaking of listening: just a reminder that I'll be on the radio Sunday at 11:46 am Eastern time! I'll put a link to the podcast in the sidebar of my blog when it's available, so don't break your neck getting up early to hear me. *grin*

* * * * *

Well, this certainly has been a "me me me" post, hasn't it? Ugh, sorry.

National Book Awards finalists

The NBA finalists were named today. In poetry:

Frank Bidart, Watching the Spring Festival (Farrar, Straus & Giroux)
Mark Doty, Fire to Fire: New and Collected Poems (HarperCollins)
Reginald Gibbons, Creatures of a Day (Louisiana State University Press)
Richard Howard, Without Saying (Turtle Point Press)
Patricia Smith, Blood Dazzler (Coffee House Press)

Complete list of finalists can be found on the National Book Foundation website.

Drafty in here.

I haven't posted a draft in a while. I wrote this during my dinner break yesterday (prior to working the late shift on the reference desk). It's part of the series I'm working on -- poems about a fictional rock musician. Some are in first person, some in third person, some in second person. I've got about 15 of them so far, taking the protagonist from about age 14 (playing guitar and having rockstar daydreams) to middle age (dealing with a long career in the music world, coping with the inevitable losses one faces in middle age, etc). It's different from anything I've worked on before, and I'm having fun with it.

Anyway, I'll take this down in a day or so. And I miiiiight read it, or a revision of it, at the Five Women Poets reading Saturday night. Or I might not. So.

[gone!]

Local notes

A couple items of interest primarily to Bloomingtonians (that's the real Bloomington, here in beautiful south-central Indiana, not those impostors in Minnesota and Illinois):

*** Copies of Breach are now available at Howard's Bookstore (on the downtown courthouse square) and Boxcar Books (in its new location next door to the Runcible Spoon). I dropped them off today on consignment and both shops seemed quite pleased to have them. Howard's was going to put one in their local authors section in the front window, and Boxcar put one on a little stand facing out. Nice. Support independent bookstores, because they support us! :)

*** The annual Five Women Poets reading is coming up a week from tonight! Saturday, October 18, 7:30 pm, at Rachael's Cafe on Third Street. Free admission, but do try to get a cup of coffee or a sandwich or a cup of soup or something to support the place. I'll have chapbooks available for sale. Readers will be: Antonia Matthew, Deborah Hutchison, Anya Peterson Royce, Leah Helen May, Patricia C. Coleman, and yours truly. (Yes, there are six members of Five Women Poets. We're poets, not mathematicians.)

*** Finally, I'll be on WFIU's weekly poetry show, The Poets Weave, twice in upcoming weeks: Sunday, October 19 and Sunday, November 9 (11:46 am Eastern Time). It's a five-minute show, and if you aren't local you can listen live online or you can download the podcast later. I am mostly reading from Breach, but the October 19 show also includes my elegy for Danny Federici, E Street Band keyboardist/accordionist, who died this past April. I hope some of y'all will listen in.

cloud

I made a word cloud out of Breach over at http://wordle.net/. How cool is this? Note to self: cut way the heck back on similes next time around... good grief. Also, I am such a NON-morning person (seriously, you don't want to be around me until I've had some coffee) that I'm very surprised "morning" came out so much bigger than "night." :)

How it works is that the words that appear more frequently are bigger. If you go over to the Wordle site you can upload your own text -- and yes, it'll take an entire manuscript in there -- and create your own word cloud. You can change the fonts, colors, etc. and then do a screen capture to save it. Or if you have Windows Vista, there's a built-in "snipping tool" that works pretty well for stuff like this.

[Edited to add: Wordle also has a gallery of clouds people have created and chosen to save publicly. This one for Bruce Springsteen's Born to Run album is pretty cool!]

(Click on it to see it larger.)

quick quick

In today's mail:

1. A free sample Kashi cookie, with the return address "Cookie Fulfillment Center." Dude. I want to work at the Cookie Fulfillment Center. In fact, I want to LIVE in the Cookie Fulfillment Center.

2. Rebecca Loudon's shiny new book, Cadaver Dogs. Even better than a free cookie.

Also today, my poem is featured over on Rattle's website. (Thanks for the heads-up, Karen! I saw it this morning, but didn't have a chance to blog till now.)

* * * * *

I'll be missing the debate tonight as I will be getting all mavericky at a poetry-group meeting. Someone be sure & tell me if they say anything important, ok? [Edit: Doh!! I wrote down the wrong date on my calendar and poetry group isn't until next week. Now I need to find a new excuse to skip the debate, right? Oh, I'll probably watch... sigh... ]