Wednesday, August 22, 2007

This won't last (but then, what does?)

Here's a draft of a thing I'm currently working on. As usual when I post drafty drafts, I'll leave this up for 24 hours or so, maybe less.


[a poem-eating monster went through here and chomped up the poem! she went thataway.]

6 comments:

bill said...

Gosh, I like that.

Nareshe said...

I don't know if you follow my fiction, but I have a character who is sitting there going yes yes yes right now.

Radish King said...

lovely, lovely, lovely.
thank you.

Morgaine723 said...

This is very powerful. My mind's eye sees the Columbia River as it empties into the Pacific Ocean at Astoria, OR and Cape Disappointment, WA. And of course, that ill-fated bridge.

David V said...

Finally I get to see a draft!Beautiful melancholy images. I love the way if moves between long phrases and short, giving the feel of water lapping. I'd kill the word "down" in line 4, but I tend to be more driven by sound than line length and that long line does work well there. "Somehow we wring romance from it all" is great phrase, setting up the last lines wonderfully. Thanks for the chance to enjoy this poem.

Anne said...

Wow, that brought some lurkers out of the woodwork -- fun! :) Thanks, y'all -- your comments made me smile.