This is very powerful. My mind's eye sees the Columbia River as it empties into the Pacific Ocean at Astoria, OR and Cape Disappointment, WA. And of course, that ill-fated bridge.
Finally I get to see a draft!Beautiful melancholy images. I love the way if moves between long phrases and short, giving the feel of water lapping. I'd kill the word "down" in line 4, but I tend to be more driven by sound than line length and that long line does work well there. "Somehow we wring romance from it all" is great phrase, setting up the last lines wonderfully. Thanks for the chance to enjoy this poem.
6 comments:
Gosh, I like that.
I don't know if you follow my fiction, but I have a character who is sitting there going yes yes yes right now.
lovely, lovely, lovely.
thank you.
This is very powerful. My mind's eye sees the Columbia River as it empties into the Pacific Ocean at Astoria, OR and Cape Disappointment, WA. And of course, that ill-fated bridge.
Finally I get to see a draft!Beautiful melancholy images. I love the way if moves between long phrases and short, giving the feel of water lapping. I'd kill the word "down" in line 4, but I tend to be more driven by sound than line length and that long line does work well there. "Somehow we wring romance from it all" is great phrase, setting up the last lines wonderfully. Thanks for the chance to enjoy this poem.
Wow, that brought some lurkers out of the woodwork -- fun! :) Thanks, y'all -- your comments made me smile.
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