If they pick one of mine, y'all have to start planning your travel so as to connect via Indianapolis, just so you can go "ooh! I know that poet!" :)
And in honor of the new year (and for me personally, a return to sending stuff out after a brief hiatus), this bit o'sanity from http://garyjkelly.com/ai/cheer.htm:
A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death. A publisher won't.
If you yelled "I've been rejected!" for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour and hurts. Posting another submission takes seconds and doesn't.
Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. But, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and smack the w****r in the head. Or post a submission to another publisher.
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. If you wrote a short story every day for the same period, you'd have about 2469 stories to submit and your home would be a much nicer place to visit.
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. Unless the publisher that rejected you happens to be a male praying mantis, telling him to f*** off will not have the same effect.
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. The publisher that rejected you is certainly not a pig...
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (We know some people like that, don't we?)
Starfish don't have brains. (We know some people like that, too)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day. Publishers would need to be lions if rejected writers could only get mental telepathy to work.
If publishers really knew the secret of what makes a good book "good", they'd be writers.
The following have had books published: Jeffrey Archer, Joan Collins, Jackie Collins, Roy Hattersley, Salman Rushdie.
Are you really thinking of giving up now?