My eyes had to blink, as eyes eventually do. But I didn't miss this. This is beautiful. I love the sound each word makes as it flows into the next, much like the sound water or a gentle wind makes.
I love the way the more personal ending relates back to the begining with "dry, dry, dry, say the trees"
Trista, sure -- I'm flattered! I'm going to take it down soon to rework it, though. I think it may want to grow up and become a real poem someday. Maybe.
Trista, I'll try to remember to let you know! I actually took a little work break and started playing around with lines -- which immediately revealed some weak spots. I may work on this one for a while. It's odd for me to do an initial draft in prose format like this, but it makes it kind of fun to work with.
Erin, there was a poem-draft-ish thing. I took it down after a day for revision, and because I don't really like to post unpublished stuff here as a general rule.
11 comments:
My eyes had to blink, as eyes eventually do. But I didn't miss this. This is beautiful. I love the sound each word makes as it flows into the next, much like the sound water or a gentle wind makes.
I love the way the more personal ending relates back to the begining with "dry, dry, dry, say the trees"
Thank you.
Thanks, Heather, and welcome -- don't think I have seen you around here before. :)
Anne, that is so beautiful. Can I print it and tape it to my desk?
Trista, sure -- I'm flattered! I'm going to take it down soon to rework it, though. I think it may want to grow up and become a real poem someday. Maybe.
Mmm . . . how lovely!
Thanks Anne. I did it.
Please let me know if this ever does change form. I'd love to see the final incarnation.
Thanky, Ms. Artichoke. :)
Trista, I'll try to remember to let you know! I actually took a little work break and started playing around with lines -- which immediately revealed some weak spots. I may work on this one for a while. It's odd for me to do an initial draft in prose format like this, but it makes it kind of fun to work with.
Anne,
' glad I'm used to staring at my monitor for minutes without blinking, especially when I'm deeply absorbed with what I'm writing.
aLfie vera-mella
Anne, I feel like a monolithic dope, but what am I missing here?
I'm sure it's fantastic, though. Just, well, give a sleepy girl a little hint.
Erin, there was a poem-draft-ish thing. I took it down after a day for revision, and because I don't really like to post unpublished stuff here as a general rule.
Next time I'll visit your site a few hours earlier so I can catch the draft. Voyeurism, you know.
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